Don't hate arguing

Don't Hate Arguing 

Alright so today's topic is one that is interesting. You could probably tell by the tittle. This is actually going to go into a field that I struggle with. The logic is relevant and works I just struggle to apply it sometimes. Or I forget. I am not perfect either. 

I want to discuss today deeper in the idea of solving conflict. We are going to dive into ways that we can address the topic of an argument without feeding the fire. We never want to disregard someone's feeling and so we cannot in this moment of disagreement just end the argument. There are however ways to address it and end it where we have both sides of the party feeling happy and right. 

This should be the aim for all couples. If you have the desire to make your significant other upset or sad maybe you should hit the road.

There are five ways that we can engage peacefully in arguments. We will say do not hate the arguments, embrace them. That is really what we will be discussing completely. That is it, we will be embracing the argument, to create peace. Sounds contradicting but let us get into it so that can understand the idea

Number one is called the disarming technique. This is where we find the "kernel of truth". In any argument there is an opinion. That opinion in your mind may be completely wrong. I am sure that it is if you are arguing. Anyways you want to find anything, no matter how small it may be, and if it is truth to you focus on that. Agree on that. This will bring a greater peace in the other individual because they will feel as if you are beginning to side with them. 

Number two is called "express". A great way for another individual to understand where you are coming from is by display of physical emotion. When someone can see your pain, or your sadness they will cope with you. Many people in our day struggle displaying their feelings because we are bad at socializing. This helps in these times. 

The third one is "Inquiry". Seek to understand them fully. They will respect that and you will actually understand if you should even be arguing. Majority of arguments happen because of understanding. Repeat what they shared in your understanding and continue by a confirmation if you are understanding them correctly.  

Our number four is known as "I feel" statements.This is where you bring your feelings into the discussion expressed vocally. You however do not say that the other individual is wrong. That is not a feeling.  You express to them that you are feeling a specific type of way, even stating "I feel". Again we come back to the idea of understanding. They will know how you feel when you share and that can change the way that they feel when they have that understanding.

Our very last of the five for today is "Stroking". This is where you pat someones ego. The stroking technique is all about complements. You can show appreciation in the ideas that they have, their opinions, or really anything that will make them happier. Finding the things that are healthy will create a deeper love for them in you, and it will create deeper feelings from them to you. 

These five things are really really helpful when applied with-in relationships. All relationships begin tearing and falling apart through simple arguments. They eventually lead to much bigger and greater ones. Therefore when we prevent these from happening. Or control them in a peaceful way when they do happen, our relationships are more successful. Let's prevent toxic relationships.